


only fools rush in

by ameliajessica



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, I am pretty vanilla, for once annie is the one who is clueless, jeff is a romantic dork HUGE SURPRISE, the sex is described quite specifically but otherwise it's pretty vanilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:38:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ameliajessica/pseuds/ameliajessica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff and Annie are terrible at casual sex. Well, Annie is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There’s just something about Jeff, post-almost losing Greendale.

He’s closer to her in a lot of ways. Some of those ways are literal, ways that she could point out to a court of law if anyone tried to say she was reading too much into things again – he sits next to her more, in class and in the cafeteria and when the group goes out together. Most of them are silent ways though, unnoticeable to anyone but her. The long looks and stolen glances are back, more obvious than ever to her, but that just makes her feel like she’s finally losing it. Crazy Annie going crazy for Jeff. For a second time. More than just crazy, it makes her feel juvenile. Eighteen years old all over again, counting the times Jeff Winger cracks wise and goes to see her reaction first in a day (today, it was nine. Out of twelve. The other three she deliberately looked away, because sometimes meeting his eyes makes her heart hurt). So, basically, it has to just be her. Again.

Yet, even though he feels closer (metaphorically and physically, whether it’s just her or not it still _feels_ that way), it’s like they’ve never been farther apart. She’s as embarrassed as Abed would be for herself by indulging in such a cliché but it’s _true –_ all those times he’s sitting next to her or looking at her, he still doesn’t talk to her. And she feels that tension, that silence, that _gap_ between the two of them, more than ever now.

But she can’t fall in love with him again. She won’t let herself. The first time it was easy – actually, easy is the wrong word. It was involuntarily. An accident. Irresponsible, was what it was. She didn’t know any better. She thought long looks and stolen glances, and directed jokes and sitting together meant something. That kissing someone and feeling something, warm and familiar and unfamiliar, uncurl in her stomach meant something. And she won’t let herself think that again.

Some days it feels light and euphoric – to catch Jeff looking at her, or to share a look when something ridiculous happens (as is often the case, at Greendale), but other times it’s like a disease, just infecting everything else in her life too and she hates it, hates that lingering feeling in her system, hates that’s she’s not past what she was experiencing as a teenager.

So there’s only one way to get it over with, right?

                                                                                                *

To her credit, her theory isn’t entirely unfounded. This is how Jeff and Britta did it, right? Of course they did end up wanting to get married but once they got it out of their systems, and the group found out, they stopped liking each other didn’t they? What she thinks might be feeling could just be pent up frustration, _unresolved sexual tension_ as Abed would say – after all, it’s been, what, five years since they’ve kissed?

Annie repeats this over and over to herself as she walks over to Jeff. They’ve just found out Shirley is moving back to look after her parents, so they throw a shindig at the apartment. It’s pretty hasty news, making for a hasty spread but Shirley doesn’t seem to care when she spots the virgin mudslides (and then some not so virgin). When Annie goes into the kitchen for plates for the pizza they ordered, Jeff follows and she hands him some scotch. He raises at eyebrow at her, thankful but bemused and she says, “Don’t tell Britta. I know you wouldn’t want to poison your body with anything that milkshakes consists of.”

“You’re my favourite,” he says over the rim of the glass, not breaking her gaze.

She blushes but rolls her eyes at him, ducking away to grab the snack tray. He watches on, amused, following close behind her.  She wants to keep her cool so, upon realising the way Jeff and sobriety make her jittery, she tries some liquid courage and avoids being near him for as long as she can.

Britta and Shirley leave together, Jeff about to go with him as Britta offers him a ride but something makes him look back at Annie even though she’s spent the least amount of time with him this evening. “Uh, no,” he says, “I’m okay. I’ll hang around for a little while."

“You sure?” Shirley asks.

“Uhh, yeah.”A quick glance at Annie. “ _Abed_ and I will watch a movie or something, right, buddy?”

“I was actually going to go to bed soon, but I could watch an episode of _Inspector Spacetime_ if you wanted to join.”

“Sure.”

“’Sure’?” Britta laughs. “Since when you do like _Inspector Spacetime_?”

“Since forever,” he says tightly, this time purposefully not looking at Annie. Britta notices, looking between them before pursing her lips, sensing something but not quite understanding what it is.

Annie gives a nervous smile, hugging Shirley and Britta tightly. When she closes the door, Jeff has perched himself on the arm of a chair facing the TV. “Okay boys,” she says, “I’m going to stay up for a bit, so you don’t have to keep it down just yet. Have fun!”

As she says it, Jeff looks back to says, ‘thanks,’ and something in Annie’s gaze stops him. The two of them look at each other for a long moment and she keeps his gaze as she opens the door. “See you later,” she says meaningfully.

“Bye,” Abed says over his shoulder and Annie laughs under her breath. Jeff is still just watching her. She looks away then looks back at him once more, then goes in.

She regrets this about ten minutes into it, however. She shifts from staring at the ceiling, then pacing her room; reading a book, then pacing her room; planning her outfit for tomorrow, then pacing her room. Eventually she convinces herself that it’s time to give up, that maybe her message wasn’t clear enough or maybe it was and he really, truly isn’t interested. She decides the best way to put that out of her mind is to do the same thing she always did when she felt herself losing control – she takes out her homework for next week and her iPod, and gets started.

A little while later there’s a soft knock at her door, she shouts, “Come in!” before she catches herself.

“Shhh,” Jeff says, smiling fondly as he comes in.

“I know, I know,” she apologises, speaking in a whisper, taking out her headphones. “Sorry. Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, Abed’s just gone to bed.”

“How was _Inspector Spacetime_?” she asks teasingly. He throws her an exasperated look that makes her giggle, without meaning to. There’s only so much intentional flirting she can do, after all. “It’s not _that_ bad.”

“No, sure, but it would have helped to have someone to share confused glances with,” he says, giving her a look. “Or just being able to watch with someone who lets you ask questions.”

Annie smiles down at the ground and stands out of her seat. “Well I’m sure there’ll be someone next time.”

But he lingers, scuffing his foot on the floor and looking round her room. “It looks... different.”

She looks around too, trying to remember the last time he was in here. “I took the Zac Efron poster down?” she offers.

He laughs shortly. “Yeah, maybe that’s it. I don’t feel the threat of a more attractive man in this space anymore.”

Annie scoffs. “I’m surprised you’d admit he is.”

“Ouch,” he teases. “That was meant to be where you deny it so I don’t have to.”

“You don’t need the ego boost.”

“That’s probably true.” His shoe scuffs against the floor some more. He takes a deep breath. “So, how are you feeling?”

“About Zac Efron?”

“About Shirley,” he says gently.

“Is that all you came in for?”

“I...” Jeff swallows. “I mean, yeah. I care about you. And I know you two were always... close.”

“That’s true.”

“Ahem, and you, you know, you had this kind of, special bond from the beginning.”

“We did.”

“And I know that things were weird for the last few years but I know... that Shirley still cares a lot about you.”

Annie says nothing and steps closer, smiling softly. “Jeff?”

“Mm?” he says tightly.

“Are we,” she breathes, shaking her head to get her hair away from her face. Jeff’s expression becomes unreadable. Her hand walks up his chest. “Are we still talking about Shirley?”

“Annie,” he says slowly, a warning, and grabs her wrist but his eyes are dark and hooded and his breathing is shallow.

She takes a step back to pull her top over her head. He turns away with a tight exhale. Annie lets out an involuntary whine. She wore her best bra for this, and Jeff isn’t even looking. “Jeff,” she says, “come on. Don’t you think we’ve danced around this long enough?”

She’s standing in her room, in nothing but her bra, begging Jeff Winger to finally sleep with her. It’s a new low. And she feels herself go off book, because she just can’t help it. “Feeling like this is killing me Jeff,” she chokes, and oh God now she’s crying. “I just can’t live. Feeling like this anymore.”

He is looking at her now. “Annie,” he says quietly.

 “Please, Jeff,” she whispers, and her voice breaks.

“Oh Annie,” he says helplessly, walking over to her, “shhh, come here.”

 She really wishes she was having this conversation with a blouse on. Or at least a t-shirt.

Jeff cards his fingers through her hair, until she meets his gaze and the look on his face is still one she can’t quite decipher. But at least he’s looking at her. And at least his hands are still on her shoulders and back, thumbs brushing against her skin.

“Please Jeff,” she says, and maybe she’s using the Disney Eyes, but it’s not entirely on purpose. “I’m tired of pretending I don’t feel like this. Can’t we just... stop?”

“Annie,” he says again, but it’s not like before. It’s not a warning. He’s giving her one last out. Because despite everything, Jeff Winger still thinks he’s no good for little Annie Edison. So one last chance to back out, and have nothing change. But Annie can’t have that. She can’t go back to the way things were even if she wanted to.

So she leans up, and kisses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so this wasn't meant to be a multi-chapter, it was only gonna be like 3k tops BUT it totally got away from me and here we are. the next part is pretty much written but I wanna space out uploads and that. please let me know what you think, I've worked stupidly hard on this and love getting feedback from this fandom! I love this fandom! I love this pairing! love!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If she’s honest with herself, the first time is a little more awkward than she had expected.

If she’s honest with herself, the first time is a little more awkward than she had expected. After all that tension, all that build up – all the fantasies and night dreams and day dreams, Annie’s liquid courage evaporates pretty quickly as soon as she sets eyes on Jeff Winger’s bare chest and she has no idea what to do with her hands, or potentially what sex even is. In fact both of them are so nervous, and so aware that this is finally happening, that it’s shaky and careful and tender all at once. Annie ends up on top, flustered as she is, Jeff’s hands roaming her back, gentle and passionate and terrified. Any noise they make is lost in their kisses.

Abed wakes up fairly early usually so she has to usher him out of the apartment, after a... cosy night on her bed that can’t quite fit the two of them properly. She’s somewhat mortified when she wakes up to see Jeff Winger sprawled across her bed, clearly uncomfortable. She shifts minutely to give him space, but because they’re that tangled in each other it makes him wake up. Before he’s even fully awake, he sets his eyes on her and grins widely. “Good morning,” he rasps, leaning over to press a loud kiss on her cheek. Feeling herself start to blush, she sits up, also aware of her bedhead.

“What time is it?” she asks, running her fingers through her hair.

Jeff isn’t listening. He reaches over to brush her hair over one shoulder, kissing her bare shoulder.

“Jeff,” she says, trying to scold but having a hard time adopting the appropriate tone while he does so. “Ah, no really what – what time is it?”

His hand moves lazily to her hip as she moves away, reaching for her phone, but as soon as she sees the time, she springs out of bed. “You need to go. Abed’s going to be awake in 13 minutes.”

“That’s plenty of time.”

“ _Jeff_.”

“Okay, fine, fine,” he laughs, climbing out and looking for his pants and underwear. Annie hurriedly throws on some sweats and a top. “You know he will find out eventually though, right?”

“I mean, yeah it’s _Abed_ , but if we can avoid that until that happens then that’d be great.”

At his silence, Annie looks up to see him with a small frown. “What?”

“No, nothing, you’re right,” he says, zipping up his jeans and pulling on his shirt. When he turns so she can see his face again, his grinning. “Watching me change, Edison? Wouldn’t have pegged you for it.”

Annie scoffs, and the tension is eased again.

It’s a bit more of a scuffle in the entrance to her apartment where she frantically leads him out, which he finds hilarious, trying to prolong her goodbye kiss to tease her. She finally shoves him back and all but slams the door, before quickly opening it again.

“Jeff,” she hisses down that hall. He turns back to her.

“Will you.” She shifts her footing, trying not to feel awkward. He did just have sex with her, after all. There’s no reason to be coy, or pretend to be. They’ve had six long years of that. “Will you, call me? Later?”

Jeff lets out a short, breathless laugh. “Of course,” he says, like it was obvious. _Like he was going to anyway,_ Annie thinks with a smile, and goes to make breakfast.

*

The second time is a little better. It’s at his place, for starters, so they don’t have to worry about being too loud – which is more a problem relating to Jeff more than it does her, it turns out. Though her quiet, soft pants seem to drive him crazy regardless. Jeff goes down on her, the first time only really having enough time for him to use his fingers (her idea, not his) and it’s easily the most powerful orgasm she’s ever felt. He’s not the first person to do it to her but something about looking down and seeing Jeff Winger between her legs just pushes her over the edge in a way more intense than she could have ever fathomed. Jeff seems as into it as she does, every so often pulling away to look her and mumbling about how gorgeous she is under his breath. She doesn’t feel gorgeous – she feels hot, in the _warm_ and _sweaty_ sense of the word, heartbeat pounding in her ears and clutching onto the pillow like she’s falling off a cliff and being turned inside out at the same time. When she comes, with one quick but loud shout, she looks down to see Jeff Winger smiling against her thigh, looking all too awfully pleased with himself. She takes the pillow and smacks him with it.

The fifth time, she goes down on him and Annie never thought it’d be an aspect of foreplay she’d enjoy until that moment. Jeff doesn’t stop talking to God or saying her name the whole time he’s in her mouth, and it’s no surprise that Annie loves that level of control over him. He stares awestruck at the ceiling for a moment after he comes, and when Annie slides down next to him, feeling very proud of herself, he looks over like he can’t quite believe she’s real. It lasts longer than she knows what to do it, and she feels herself shyly look away and tuck her hair behind her ear. Jeff leans over, cupping her cheek, to press kisses and nuzzle into her neck.

“Stay over?” he says.

She stills, scans his face. She hadn’t expected this when embarking on casual sex with Jeff Winger – the first time they’d had sex in his place it’d been right after class, hazy and lazy at five in the afternoon, so she’d left to make dinner for Abed, but he’s warm and has his arm over her waist and makes her feel safe so she’s certainly not going to turn that down. “Sure,” she says, more moved by it than she cares to admit. “Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?”

Jeff’s head tilts pensively. “That... would be totally hot, actually.”

Annie giggles. “Really?” she asks, frowning a little disbelievingly.

“Oh yeah,” he assures her, getting up to throw her one. She tries to adjust the broad shoulders to no avail, and eventually settles with most of it billowing down her front. When she looks up at Jeff, he’s staring a little dazed. “Yep, I was right.”

“ _Really_?” she asks again, laughing as he gets on his hands and knees at the end of the bed and pulls her towards him. “Jeff!”

“You should wear my clothes all the time,” he says.

“They don’t _fit_ ,” she says, squirming as his hands tickle her sides. He kisses her while she’s laughing.

“You’d look great anyway,” he says. “You look great all the time.”

“Jeff,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes.

He pulls away to look at her. “Annie, you know you’re gorgeous, right?”

She shrugs. “I mean, I’m not one to brag but –”

“It’s not bragging if it’s true.”

“I’ve just never liked to think about it too much,” she says dismissively, because she really isn't fishing for compliments. She knows she was insecure but she's so past that now, past all the other problems and anxieties that held her back from no many things. _Including this_ , she thinks briefly, looking into Jeff's eyes. “It's no big deal, it just wasn’t something I felt I was really good at so I just focused on other things.”

“Annie,” Jeff says slowly. “You are the smartest, most responsible and capable person I’ve ever met. But you’re beautiful, that’s just fact. I can’t,” he stops. “I can’t believe you’d even give me the time of day.”

“Jeff,” she scolds softly, taken aback and unsure of what else to say.

“You’re the best person... I know. I feel so lucky.”

Annie’s heart feels too small for her chest. She reaches up to touch his collarbone. “I feel lucky too,” she admits, the first time she’s allowed herself to be sappy with him, for fear of either scaring him or herself away ( _Afraid Crazy Annie would go crazy for you?_ ).

“Well I guess it’s good we found each other then,” he says, grinning at her in a way that makes him look so young. Wide, toothy and smug before he dips down to kiss her. They don’t have sex but they make out slow and lazy for what must be hours and it feels like something coming back to life again inside her. Annie yawns accidentally into a kiss, which should be awkward and she’s already poised to apologise profusely but when he pulls away he just laughs into her hair. He rolls onto his back and Annie falls asleep with her head on his chest, lulled by his heartbeat.

The next day he makes her scrambled eggs and coffee, watching her over the top of his mug fondly. Like he knows something she doesn’t. “What?” she asks, fiddling with her hair.

“Nothing,” he says casually, pushing the toast rack towards her. She frowns, about to ask him again but he leans over to peck her mouth. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she replies, unable to keep herself from smiling as she takes a bit from the food _Jeff Winger_ made. For _her_. Having woken up _before_ her to do. He’s still close enough for her to pull him by the shirt towards her again, and he smiles into the kiss. She tastes the coffee on his tongue, _feels_  more than hears the appreciative hum he gives when her hand moves to his neck. It feels so casual, so natural.

Warning bells start going off in her head. She ignores them.

*

The eighth time is the end, but it started before that. If she’s honest, this was doomed to happen from the moment she set eyes on him in that study room way back when and to think otherwise was stupid. So, so stupid. Though the other times she’s fallen for him again without realising, she still feels like at this point she should have seen this coming.

The night before the eighth time, she comes over and finds that he’s cooked her dinner. Nothing complicated, just pasta, but Annie’s heart is fluttering the whole time. They’d hung out before, watched a movie, but Annie, to avoid getting too deep, had more or less thrown herself at him as soon as she stepped through his door each time, eager to not dance around the reason she was there (not that he appeared to be complaining).

The entire night she tries to blame the wine but she should have known. When they finish eating, they’re on his couch, drinking the rest of the wine, and when there’s a lull in the conversation he takes the glass from her hand and sets it down on the coffee table.

She should have known when the intensity of his gaze brings heat to her cheeks, and she looks down, to hide behind her hair. One of his hands comes up to cup her cheek, and it feels like her whole face fit right there in his palm and she's dizzy and happy and it has absolutely nothing to do with the wine. He kisses her very carefully, and when she locks her arms around his neck, he picks her up and carries her to the bedroom.

He looms over her, taking over her senses. It's the first time that they’re doing it this way: him on top and it’s dark and quiet outside. All she can see, smell, hear and feel is Jeff. He moves his mouth off her neck to kiss her as he moves inside of her and then she can taste him too. When she comes, it feels like she’s suffocating, it’s so awful, and it's all because she _knows_. She feels like crying but isn’t sure if she’s actually about to, so she settles for burying her face in his shoulder, horrified and embarrassed.

Jeff pulls out carefully, peppering the side of her throat and he can feel the smile on his face. He has no idea. Annie just rolls over and pretends that she’s trying to sleep. After a few more delicate kisses on her back, he wraps one arm around her and actually does.

There, in the dark and silence of Jeff Winger’s bedroom, she accepts with a cold feeling in her stomach that she’s in love with him. Again. 

She'd felt less like a stupid, lovesick teenager when she actually was one.

That morning she slides out of his bed unnoticed, scrawls a note, sticks it to the fridge and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it must be said that writing jeff's lines in these scenes is ridiculously easy because all his feelings about annie are basically my feelings about annie - queen of it all, amirite? please feedback. if you want to! thank you so much for all the feedback I've already received, you guys are the sweetest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She thought she could handle it but she couldn’t – she tried, but she just can’t let herself get too close like Jeff Winger without consequences. Maybe leaving a note wasn’t the best course of action but she panicked. So she takes the weekend and plans out what she’ll say to him.

She plans to avoid him for as long as she can but realistically, that’s only the rest of the weekend. She knows that on Monday, with the Greendale Committee meeting, it’s only a matter of time. And she has no idea what he’ll say, or how he’ll react. Ideally, she hopes that it’s no big deal. Jeff and Britta are still fine, right? So she got too attached, of course _she_ did, but it’s _Jeff_ – sure his ego is probably a little bruised but it’s not like she left him heartbroken. She thought she could handle it but she couldn’t – she _tried_ , but she just can’t let herself get too close like Jeff Winger without consequences. Maybe leaving a note wasn’t the best course of action but she panicked. So she takes the weekend and plans out what she’ll say to him.

He’s fine throughout the meeting. Sure, he doesn’t look at her once and everyone pretty much notices except Chang, but they don’t say anything. Frankie gives her a few questioning glances every so often but it seems more about her demeanour than the tension in the space between her and Jeff. Britta and Abed know the two of them well enough to know something must have happened. Annie sticks up her chin and powers through, adding a nonchalant, “Oh, and Jeff, could I speak to you afterwards?” at some point that everyone else just brushes over.

When everyone else is gone, she feels immediately more exposed and vulnerable. He stands over her and she loves him, and three days ago she was in his arms and now she can’t be anymore. He shifts his books from one arm to another and asks, “What’s up?”

“Well, about Friday,” she starts, begs herself not to start crying. “I just wanted to apologise –”

“Don’t worry about it,” he cuts her short.

She blinks, surprised by his curtness. “R-really? I mean I’m sorry I left it the way I did but I just want to make sure there are no hard feelings.”

“Of course not,” he says, and she can’t read him and she _hates_ that. He must see because his demeanour softens slightly, and he sighs. “Look, Annie, you said you can’t, and if you can’t then that’s it, right?”

“Y-yeah,” she agrees. “That’s it. So we’re good?”

He smiles at her and she wishes desperately that he would reach out and touch her, somehow – she’d settle for a damn pat, at this point. “We’re good,” he says. “I’ll see you around.”

She watches him walk away, turning back to her once before he disappears around a corner. Annie takes a deep breath, and steps out into the school.

*

But of course there’s more to it than that.

Part of Annie had been worried about resuming the unspoken closeness between them that had always been there, for the sake of her feelings and trying to get over him, but turns out that’s not an issue. Honestly, she feels like Jeff would treat an actual leper with more affection.

It’s her fault, obviously. She’s a fool, she thinks. She hadn’t known there was more than one way to fall in love with someone. She thought she’d had it down. Stupid, typical Annie. Just because you pass a test doesn’t mean you retain the knowledge and it doesn’t make you an expert. The first time she’d loved him had been overwhelming – hard to keep up with in the best way, and the worst way. She felt herself just be swept along, acting in a way she didn’t recognise in herself. Feeling a way she’d never experienced before, not even with Vaughn and definitely not with Troy, but it felt familiar and right all the same – it felt...

It felt like growing up.    
  
This was entirely something else. It was slow, and she was so careful about looking out for that first kind of love that she didn’t see it sneaking up on her.

But, turns out being heartbroken over the same guy for a second time (third? She’s lost count at this point, of all the ups and downs – her almost and not quite’s of falling under his spell again and again, through third and fourth year) is much worse than the first. Especially in the context of having actually been with him, even if it wasn’t real. In retrospect it seems so obvious that this was a terrible idea.

And of course, not being able to avoid him during the week at all, doesn’t help. Abed notices more and more and Annie notices that he notices but she’s not sure how much until he confronts her one night, after Britta has gone to bed. She finds his deliberate timing, of keeping it just between the two of them, rather sweet.

“What happened with you and Jeff?”

“What do you mean?” she says, even though she knows exactly what he means.

“Something’s changed in your dynamic.” He purses his lip. “And I’m not being TV now – did you guys have a fight?”

He’s really trying, she notices. He’s really worried, and she feels that hole that Troy left in the space between them. This is something Abed would have noticed first, but Troy would have brought up, and the two of them would ask together. But he’s worried, and he came and asked her all by himself and that’s a Big Deal for Abed. Annie sighs, closing her book. “We slept together.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“It started the night Shirley left.”

Abed stops to look around her room. “In _here_?”

Annie suddenly feels embarrassed, heat rushing to her face. “Yeah.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “And all those times you were late home?”

“Yes.”

“And when you didn’t come home at all?”

Annie groans, pulling out her pillow to bury her face in. “ _Yes_ , Abed. Yes.”

“But I guess... that you’re not anymore?”

“That would be correct,” she says, muffled by the pillow.

“But... why?”

She pulls away to take a deep breath. “I was stupid,” she says sadly. “I wanted to get over him and I thought that sleeping with him would do it because of... Jeff and Britta, in second year – I was just sick of still being into him and I didn’t care, I just wanted done with it.”

She gives a shuddering sigh, trying to shake the tears she can feel climbing up her throat.

“You weren’t stupid,” Abed says after a pause. Annie blinks up at him in surprise. “And you're not stupid now. You just fell in love with him. You are, right?”

“Right,” she mutters. “I am.” And it sounds even more miserable saying it out loud. Her chest hurts.

When Abed places a comforting hand on her shoulder, she’s so moved by it that she starts to cry. He doesn’t move closer, but he keeps his hand there and it helps.

*

Things start to change a little from there, Abed somehow keeping a watchful, protective eye on her at all times. At first it’s strange to get used to but it does make her feel less isolated – and besides, he understood at least. It’s Abed, he knows people inside out – of course he wasn’t surprised she was in love with Jeff. Maybe if she’d consulted him first, as awkward as that may have been, the whole mess could have been avoided. But more than understood, Abed didn’t have the capacity to judge, and it made her feel more okay. It isn’t a big deal – she loves Jeff. That’s all.

He even goes as far as delegating ‘Keep Annie Company’ duty. On day, Britta sides up to her by her locker. “What’s going on with you?” she asks bluntly.

“W-What?” Annie almost drops her books.

“Abed is memorising everyone’s schedule and assigning shifts to making sure you’re always with someone and,” she pauses and exhales and suddenly seems less confrontational and more antsy, clearly making the effort to be so. “I’m worried, so. Are you okay?”

Annie laughs nervously. “Britta, I’m fine, Abed’s just... Abed. It's just... school stuff, you know me. Stress.”

“Really?” Britta says gently, tilting her head so Annie has to meet her eye. “Because. He’s not asking Jeff. And if there’s anyone who’d be first in line to make sure you’re okay, much as we all love you I think you know that... well.” She rolls her eyes with a small laugh. “ _Jeff_.”

It’s ridiculous that his name feels like a thorn in her chest.

“Britta, it’s nothing.” Because it isn’t, it’s nothing. She just loves Jeff. She loved him once and then she didn’t and she’s going to not again. “I’m fine.”

“Annie,” Britta starts seriously.

“It’s _nothing_ ,” she snaps, and Britta looks so hurt that Annie hates herself, feeling her eyes fill with tears again. “Oh God, Britta, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it I’m just...” she trails off, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

“It’s okay,” Britta says quietly, brows still knitted together. “But... look, I just hate the idea that me sleeping with him made you think that you can’t talk to me about this stuff. Because you _can_ ,” she assures, widening her eyes seriously. “That stuff last year was just... panic. We didn’t mean it. We’re over, and we have been for a long time.”

“And how did you do that?” Annie asks miserably.

“Oh Annie,” Britta says, understanding, and really she’s a lot more astute than the group gives her credit for.

She’s all cried out, honestly, so she just gives her a sad smile. Britta takes her hand, and walks her to class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so I owe everyone a huge apology for how long this has taken, but something about this chapter was just not piecing itself together easily. it got so long I even had to split it into two! so this is one half of it. the rest is already written but going through rigorous editing.
> 
> thanks to everyone who is reading this right now, because it means you're sticking through with this silly story that's taken up far too much of everyone's time. you keep me going!
> 
> sidenote that I loved writing the annie/abed, annie/britta friendship. chosen-sibling love you guys!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey,” she says shortly. “Can we talk?”

Almost hilariously, on top of it all Abed starts being a little colder to Jeff, who seems to notice that something is wrong, but it’s not enough to seriously question or confront him. The ‘almost’ part of that comes from the fact that, like always, Jeff goes to exchange a glance with her but then catches himself and looks away sharply. Britta follows in Abed’s lead, though she’s much more deliberate and obvious with her (mis)treatment of Jeff. Frankie catches on to _something_ , though she seems uncertain whether it’s her place to ask, and just joins in slight indifference to Jeff, who gets increasingly more frustrated, and more than that, seems so lost that he can’t buddy up with Annie in his confusion. Annie realises just how often the two of them would pair up in crisis, just dependent and drawn to each other in an unspoken way whenever the world turned crazy, from lava to two girls declaring love you to at a school dance or moving to another state so your boyfriend can play hacky sack. It’s always been the two of them, and suddenly it’s not.

It does finally snap, though. Annie can’t stand the gap between them, but more than that, the idea that it could get any bigger – until, what? They already don’t sit next to each other at the cafeteria table, which wasn’t exactly a ritual but it certainly wasn’t uncommon, so when will it end? Until she transfers or he leaves or she moves country or until the world itself doesn’t exist anymore? And, no matter how much it sucks, she can’t lose him. So she catches him after a meeting – the only time they see each other these days, really. “Hey,” she says shortly. “Can we talk?”

Jeff’s eyes go to her newfound posse, comprised of Abed, Britta and Frankie, far enough away that they can’t hear but they all have their heads turned back to glare at him. He shakes his head, bewildered, then looks down at Annie. “Sure,” he says with some reluctance, and shifts his footing, waiting.

“Not here.” Annie bites her lip. “Can I come over? Tonight?”

“Annie...”

“This just feels like something we should talk about in private,” she justifies. “Or at least, somewhere Leonard isn’t eavesdropping.”

As she says it, something skitters by and rattles the blinds. “Point taken,” he says. “I get off at –”

“Six,” Annie finishes for him. “I know, it’s Tuesday.”

Annie had a class that finished at five, so she’d wait for him and they’d ride together to his place. Jeff used to kiss her casually in the car, quick and sweet, pulling away with a smile and asking, “Good day?” as if her heart wasn’t hammering away in her chest. At his apartment, he’d hold the door open for her, making small talk about his day but as soon as it was closed, she drop her bag and press him up against it, and there wasn’t much talking from then. It was his longest day, Tuesdays, and he’d kiss her like he’d been waiting for hours to do it – a tired but contented sigh as he combed his hand through her hair to the nape of her neck, tilting her head to kiss her deeper. They didn’t always have sex and settled for making out on his couch, but it didn’t matter. Annie loved Tuesdays.

Something flickers in Jeff’s eye and he purses his lips, and Annie thinks – likes to think – he’s remembering too. “Of course. Great. Just... text me, or whatever.”

“I will.”

There’s a beat and then Jeff just nods his head awkwardly, and walks away.

*

She goes home after her class, determined to not look so eager as to arrive as soon as she knows he’ll be home and besides, she could do with some planning with what she wants to say; what she wants to ask.

Of course she spends the time getting so riled and pissed off that it all goes out the window.

“Hey,” Jeff says, serious, opening the door. “Do you want anything to drink or –”

“I’m fine,” she says shortly. “Look, can we just get down to it?”

“Sure,” Jeff says, visibly taken aback. “What, uh, I mean _you_ said you wanted to talk.”

“Yeah because we haven’t,” she says, trying to not sound petulant. “At all. So, what? I thought we were okay. You _said_ we were okay.”

“Annie.” His voice is quiet but stern and she hates that. “ _You_ ended things. _You_ wanted to split up. I’ve just been following your wishes. I was keeping my distance.”

Well _that_ isn’t what she’s expecting. “Just because we’re not sleeping together doesn’t mean I don’t want us to be friends!”

“Sleeping together?” he says tightly. “That’s what you’re calling it?”

Her heart stutters. Did she let on about how she was feeling? “W-well yeah, what else would you call it?”

Jeff shakes his head. “No, you’re right. Of course.” But he doesn’t sound like he means it.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Jeff talking through your problems doesn’t actually work unless you talk through your problems.”

“Well.” His shoulders rise defensively. “All these years you’ve never struck me as a casual sex sort of gal, why the change of heart?”

“I thought that was what _you_ wanted!”

“What, so you just randomly decided to sleep with me? Out of... the goodness of your heart? I don’t get that.”

 “You and Britta did it!” she cries suddenly. “You and Britta slept together for a _whole year_ and didn’t even consider being together again until you two got scared the school was being shut down.”

“That was different,” he says seriously.

“Why, because you weren’t attracted to me from the start?”

His eyes narrow. “Then or now, you _know_ that wasn’t a problem.”

“Then because I’m too young?”

“No,” he says, something twitching in his jaw.

“Then why would we be any different? Why am _I_ any different?”

“Because!” he shouts and Annie suddenly feels bad. What is she doing?

“I’m sorry,” she says quickly, crossing her arms and looking away. “I-I didn’t come here to fight. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known what I was getting into.”

“I was trying.” She takes a deep breath. “I was trying, to get over you.”

Jeff looks all the more baffled. “And you thought us being – _sleeping_ together would get that done?”

“Well I didn’t know!” she cries out again, tugging on her hair. “You and Britta!”

His expression changes to something more hurt. “And, what,” he says, “it worked and that’s why... you left?”

“No!” she says, then his eyes are wide and she realises with a jolt what she’s said... but then again, there’s no backtracking now is there? “No it didn’t,” she says quietly. “It did... kind of the opposite. And that’s why I left.”

When he doesn’t say anything, she lets out a little laugh. “I’m sorry, I’ll go,” she says, feeling mortified, because what else did this all accomplish?

As Annie reaches for the door, she hears his footsteps getting closer and turns to find him crowding her against the door, forearms on either side of her. “You’re unbelievable,” he murmurs. “You’re – you’re –”

Annie watches the helpless, relieved smile start creeping up on his lips; watches his eyes glued to her mouth until they start to close and as he goes to kiss her and _realises_ , jerking back.

“ _You_ like _me_?”

“Well I,” he huffs, scuffing his feet before looking at her meaningfully. “ _Yeah_ , Annie.” And he says it like ‘duh’, and she’s _furious._

“Shut up,” she says in quiet rage.

“Annie.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” she says, swatting at his chest, then staring up at him in bewilderment.

“That’s why I was...” he stops, unsure. “That’s why I was... hurt. Because I thought we were together and you just. Left me there, to wake up on my own, with ‘I can’t, I’m sorry’ post-it on my fridge as an explanation. I don’t even keep post-its in my apartment, where did you get that?”

“I carry them in my purse. I stick them in my organiser,” she explains immediately. Jeff laughs, exasperated, rubbing a hand on his face but he looks relieved, shoulders relaxed. “Wait, you thought we were _dating_?”

“Annie, you know making breakfast isn’t part of casual hook-ups,” he says slowly, very amused by this all. Annie is getting more and embarrassed by the minute.

“...It isn’t?” she asks meekly.

Jeff laughs. “No! You think I was making scrambled eggs for Britta?”

“Well I don’t know!” she cries, throwing up her hands. “I don’t – I don’t _do_ this... stuff! I’ve never done this stuff.”

“Technically you still haven’t,” Jeff points out and Annie lets out a long exhale, moving to sit on the couch. Pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes, she finally turns and looks up at Jeff.

“At the end of second year,” she says, crossing your arms, “you told me I was reading too much into things. And you haven’t dated anyone since Slater. And last year you were going to marry Britta. I don’t,” she whispers. “I don’t get you, Jeff.”

He’s quiet for a moment, hands in his pockets as he stands by the couch. Then he sighs, a little sadly, and sits beside her. He takes her hand. “Britta and I were scared of leaving Greendale with nothing, you know that. You said we were ridiculous before we could even see it ourselves.” He turns her hand over in his. “You’re always seeing things first. You – you knew about _me –_ about _us_ way, _way_ before I did. You were right about second year. You’re right now – I should have been buying you dinner and...taking you to the movies. But... this just seemed to be what you wanted to do so I just went with it.”

He looks at her. “I finally... _had_ you. I didn’t date anyone else since Slater because there. Wasn’t anyone that made me feel the way you do – even if I took a while to admit it to myself. So I didn’t want to screw it up and lose you. I was just happy being with you, in any way I could.”

“I was just doing what _you_ wanted. It was so stupid,” Annie says softly, shaking her head, resting her head on the couch and looking up at the ceiling. “I just. You – and _Britta_ – I should have known. I’ve never been anything like Britta. And _we’ve_ never been anything like you and Britta.”

“And that’s a good thing.”

“Jeff.”

“No really,” Jeff says seriously. “Britta and I were... whatever, but we were never _real_. Not in the way _we_ ,” he gestures between them, then looks at his own hand and laughs a little under his breath. “In the way, I _thought_ we were at least.”

“I’m sorry I left,” she says, looking at him guiltily. “I just – felt so dumb. Little, naive Annie can’t handle sex without.” She stops; does she want to say it? You can’t un-ring that bell, and she doesn’t know if she can hear it ring and echo loud and lonely. “Falling in love.”

Something passes over his face and his eyes are serious, but glazed over. “You do realise,” Jeff says, “that the same thing happened to me?”

Her heart stutters in her chest, like a delicate thing, and the air feels heavy and maybe that’s why she’s panting a little bit. “Yeah?” she exhales.

He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t use my coffee pads for anyone.”

She scoffs, slapping him lightly and ending up playing with his collar. “So,” she says, focusing her eyes there. “Now what?”

“This may come as a surprise to you,” he says, “but I still very much want to be with you. That’s literally – literally what I thought I was doing anyway.”

“So this is it? We’re – doing this? For real?”

He shrugs playfully, looking at her with mock blasé he blows out a huff of air. “I mean, unless you wanna keep it casual...”

Annie rolls her eyes upwards, slapping him again and letting out a wordless scream. “Oh my _God_ , shut _u_ —”

He kisses her, and the annoyance in her fizzes out like a candle and when she sinks into it, wrapping herself around him like she’d wanted to so much, for the last few weeks, it hits her that this is it, she can do this whenever she wants and he feels the same and –

“This is a very compromising position,” he murmurs, but his hands are tentative on her hips.

“Well then we should get to compromising,” she says, brows raised, and kisses him. She feels his large, steady hand move its way up her back, and it’s just like their first kiss, and their second kiss, and she’s falling and melting in his arms just as easily as she was when she was eighteen. It’s possible that she loved him then, and that it’s just –

“Wait,” she says again, and Jeff sighs with a patient smile, as if he were expecting this. “What?” she says, in question to his gaze.

“Nothing,” he says, “I just knew your brain was still running a mile a minute. I can tell.”

“You can?”

“Yeah.” He leans forward playfully. “You get a furrow,” he says, placing his finger in between her eyebrows, “right here, when you’re concentrating. And you always did that when we kissed, before we started... this. It was like you wanted to even get that perfect. I always loved it.”

“You did?” she asks, self-conscious. _Love_. “I never...”

“What?”

“I never would have guessed you were paying that close attention,” she admits. “All those years, I eventually told myself to stop thinking about it.”

“In fairness, I did do the same,” Jeff says. “It just didn’t work.”

“When did you...” She stops. It’s weird – being so honest, but it feels so free too. Liking Jeff had felt like this dark secret that she had to keep to herself, but that somehow everyone sort of knew anyway – and she had no way of winning. The more she tried to hide it, the more it seemed like she had something to hide; but at the same time, acting on those feelings in any way wouldn’t help either. The worst of both worlds. “Know. That you liked me?”

“God, I mean, the better question is when I stopped denying it,” he says, not without bitterness. Or maybe frustration is a better word – which she can understand. “I remember the first time having to. Actively stop thinking about you in that way was second year. Rich wanted to join the group, and you wanted him to, and I was jealous, and you asked – you _told_ me.” He smiles. “That I either wanted you, or not, and that was it. And when you walked away, I remember thinking so clearly that I did.”

“I _knew_ you were jealous.”

“Though you are one, it didn’t take a genius,” he scoffs, and then he nudges his nose against hers. “And you?”

“I don’t know that I ever _stopped_ – I remember in third year –”

“Oh _God_.”

“What?”

“Third year,” Jeff groans, sinking down into the sofa, rubbing a hand on his face. “I liked you so much in third year. I wasn’t sleeping with Britta anymore, Slater was way out of the picture – you were all I could think about. There was nothing to... kid myself with. No-one who I could hide my feelings behind.”

Annie plays with his collar with a small smile. “Remember student council, second year – Pierce walked in on us but I thought we were going to kiss again.”

“We _were_ ,” Jeff exclaims. “I was _just_ about to kiss you, man, fucking _Pierce_.”

“And –”

“The Model UN!”

“Yes!”

“And God, Annie, at Christmas. That _outfit..._ ”

*

“We need to tell them.”

They hadn’t slept together that night – at least, not in the colloquial sense of the word. After an evening of recounting the last six years, Jeff and Annie remix, it just hadn’t really come naturally to, despite having cross that bridge already. Multiple times, and then crossed back over and over. Jeff broke out the hot chocolate and it was amazing, hearing the details that Jeff remembered – the ones that overlapped with her memories of their story, and the ones she hadn’t noticed but Jeff had. He’d kissed her sweetly at his door and she drove home blushing and beaming.

So it’s four days later, Annie reading in Jeff’s bed while he gets ready for bed.

“Annie.”

“We do.”

“ _Annie_ ,” Jeff groans.

“They’ll find out eventually, if they’re not already suspecting–”

“I think you’re giving our friends too much credit.”

“I think you’re giving _us_ too much credit for subtlety.”

“...Point taken.”

“So,” Annie continues, somewhat pleased, “if they’re not already suspecting – bearing in mind that Abed already knows and Britta almost definitely sort of knows – and they find out it’s been going on behind their backs, they’re gonna be mad. Not because we’re together, but because we didn’t tell them.”

“Man I hate it when you’re right,” he mutters, slapping moisturiser on his cheeks but still managing to look dashing.

“Then you picked the wrong girlfriend,” she grins, yawning and stretching herself out on the bed like a cat. Jeff’s gaze darkes as he watches her.

“Oh no, I picked exactly the right one,” he says, not taking his eyes off her arched back. He crawls towards her, over her. Annie opens her legs and he sits himself between them, enthusiastically kissing her neck.

“We’re telling them tomorrow,” she breathes.

“Don’t ruin it,” he mumbles, which she notices isn’t disagreeing.

“And you’re Skyping Shirley to tell her.”

He pulls back to stare at her in horror and disbelief. Smirking, Annie reaches behind her back and unhooks her bra. Eyes following the movement, he shakes his head. “God,” he says. “I take it back. This was a terrible idea. I’m too in love with you to date you. I’m actually going to call her.”

“It’ll – it’ll sound better from you,” she squeaks, trying to retain her composure. She’d said it before, that night, sort of but not really. _In love._ Jeff Winger who didn’t believe in best friends or love at first sight – or love at all? Was in love, with her. Despite denying even being attracted to her on multiple occasions. It almost feels like too much - so she knows exactly what he means, really.

“Shirley will send a hitman. To castrate me.”

“Jeff,” she rolls her eyes, no longer nervous. “I’m not 19 anymore. Shirley knows that. _You_ know that. And she wants me to be happy, and I love you and she will get used to this. She will have to.”

There’s a few moments of silence.

“You love me?” he says, smug smile pressing into her midriff as he looks right at her.

“Y-You said it first!” she cries, ever on the defensive. “You love _me_.”

“We’re doing this sort of backwards.”

“What else is new?” she points out. He lets out a laugh, throwing his head back before going back to pressing kisses down her body. They’ve always lived in this space of unspokenness and uncertainty and yet roaring and sureness all the same. Between the lines and yet words underlined, in _red_ as well. It makes sense, and it makes the blood in Annie’s veins feel hot and alive.

“You love me,” she exhales to the ceiling, because processing it is taking a while.

“Very much,” he murmurs to the inside of her inner thigh, but then doesn’t say much else for a while.

*

(After, Jeff resting his cheek on her hipbone, tells her about Borchert’s Lab. Something too special to have lumped together with the other moments in their story – its own chapter, like the debate and their first kiss. Though it’s not like she hadn’t believed him before, she feels her eyes go wide and then well up, immediately throwing her arms over her eyes. She hadn’t felt broken before but this was. Being put back together.

He waits, moving up to press gentle kisses in the spaces around her face that he can reach.

When she pulls them away, she says, “I love you,” while looking right at him, and really the only thing better than that is the elated grin she gets as an answer.)

*

It’s tomorrow. Annie is hosting a get-together and her and Abed’s place, pretty much only to tell Britta, Frankie and... Chang? The Dean is also supposed to be making an appearance. Knowing she’d hate being the last to know, Jeff called Shirley that morning. He emerged from the balcony look grim and exhausted, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“All good?” she’d said.

Jeff shakes his head. “We can never break up. No matter what happens she’ll assume it was my fault and will make sure my body is never found.”

It’s not all one-sided though; Annie gets a call from Shirley not even an hour later and receives a similar sermon about Jeffery’s delicate heart and sensibilities, coated in sugar and vague threats should she ever hurt them. When he comes out of the shower, Annie is sitting staring at her phone blankly.

“We can never break up,” she says.

“Wasn’t planning to,” he says over his shoulder, going into his room to get dressed.

They arrive together at the apartment. Annie needs to be there early to prep the food, and Jeff... well. Doesn’t really have an excuse. But Abed doesn’t ask. So it’s fine.

“Well,” Annie says, hands on her hips as she analyses her work. “The mini quiches are in the oven, and the cold snacks are all out so. I guess it’s just waiting for the others to turn up.”

“I mean getting everything ready hours early will usually end in that,” Jeff says, taking a sip of his beer. At her unimpressed look, he smirks around the rim of her bottle and winks at her. She’s blushing as she rolls her eyes.

“You guys want to watch _Inspector Spacetime_?”Abed asks, though he’s already selecting an episode.

Jeff casts a glance at Annie. Her heart gives one happy leap and she nods. When she sits down next to Jeff, his arm slides behind her, resting on the couch above her shoulders. Twenty minutes into the episode, he moves so it’s around her. She sneaks a glance at Abed, who's enraptured by the action, and then curls in towards Jeff.

“So the blorgons are the Inspector’s... nemeses?” Jeff murmurs in her ear.

Annie smiles, and turns to him to explain.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THAT'S IT!!!!!! this is the longest fic I've written possibly ever, and the only series I've followed all the way through, so thank you so much for all the support and love and general nice feelings I've had thrown my way. I love this pairing, I love loving this pairing and I love loving this pairing with you guys.


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